Letter from the folks at home

( This came from a little weekly paper my grandparents get... enjoy! )
~ Kate

Son:

I am writing slow ’cause I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we used too. Your pa read an article that said most accidents happen within 20 miles of home. So we moved. This new place has a washing-machine. The first day we got here I put all your shirts in it. I pulled the chain and ain’t seen ‘em since.
The front porch fell off yesterday and went down the river. It wouldn’t have ben so bad except we lost two freezers, three washing-machines, and a Sears dryer. Pa said he believed one of ‘em would’ve worked if we had electricity.
It only rained twice this week, once for three days and four days the second time. I sent the coat you wanted. Aunt Sue said it would be too heavy to mail with them big brass buttons on it, so I cut ‘em off and and put ‘em in the pocket. We got a bill from the funeral home. It said that if we don’t pay the last payment on Grandma’s burial, she comes up.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat down at work yesterday. Four men tried to rescue him but he fought them off ’till he drowned. We had him cremated and he burned fer three days.
Your brother broke his leg while doing yard work. He was raking leaves and the tree limb broke.
Three of yor friends were in a terrible accident. They were riding in a pickup truck and ran off the bridge. The driver managed to get the window open and swim to safety. The other two drowned. They couldn’t get the tailgate down…
The police chief got a new car. He wrecked it the first night. He got his leg caught in the steering wheel while tying to dim the headlights.
Well, that’s about it. If I get any more news I’ll write again.
Love,
Mammy
PS. – I was going to send you some money but had already sealed the envelope.

This one's for the Rednecks.... ;)

Duct Tape Revisited- ideas that are totally awesome!

Plaid duct tape. Need I say more!!! :D

^This equals waaaaay too much fun for a Southerner that also possesses zip ties.

Hey, why not?!

Now I think this is creative. It's gotta be sturdy...

You never would have guessed this was made out of duct tape, would you?

Another wallet, this one looks more complicated.

So I'm running low on post ideas at this present time... anything you guys would like to see in particular? Serious, funny, Southern, even Northern (don't expect it to be a gushing post on the "good qualities" of the North, cause it won't be), just whatever you'd like to see! Leave us a comment and let us know!

Toilet Planters... oh so fun!

Okay, so some people say they're silly, stupid, hideous... whatever. I say they are good recycling and creativity put into practical use. Whatever way you look at them... they are hilariously funny, captivatingly interesting, and totally out of this world (or bathroom, whatever).

Pretty in Pink!

Hey, guys, these are for sale! How much would ya'll pay?

What a beautiful finishing touch to this countryside garden. =D

Oh so patriotic. This is the true American spirit! Freedom to be creative!!!

Now these are some artistic toilets....

So tell us, what is your favorite? Do you hate them all together? What first comes to mind when you hear 'toilet planters'? Is this a Southern thing only, or do ya'll Northerners find this awesomely amusing? Let us know in a comment!

You know you're a Southerner when.....

Hey guys!!! Here it is! I hope ya'll enjoy it as much as I did! Feel free to leave a comment or ten. Many thanks to Andrea P. and Timothy for submitting most of these, and I got a couple in there myself. Thanks ya'll!


You know you're a Southerner when-

~ You know what a granny woman is.

~ You never eat biscuits without butter.

~ You know what a green fried tomato looks and tastes like.

~ You live off sweet tea and biscuits.

~ You say ya'll every other sentence.

~ You feel that as long as you add "Bless his/her little heart" you have the right to say whatever comes to mind concerning someone.

~ You've discovered a Water Moccasin living under your RV.

~ You don't say "Northerner" you say "Yankee".

~ You've whittled down a tree in attempts to solve a hard problem.

~ You wonder what was so funny about the "Ten Commandments for Southerners" post.

~ You've probably set a world record for most bottle rockets set off at one time.

~ Every pair of jeans you own has holes in the knees.

~ Your livin' out the song "Thank God I'm a Country Boy".

~ You believe a man's best friend is his favorite gun.

~ You name all your guns.

~ You call everything "coke".

~ 90% of your diet is deep-fried.

~ You think snow is a novelty.

~ You're a Baptist, your relatives are Baptists, and your friends are Baptists (that covers just about everybody).

~ Your truck is older than dirt and twice as dusty.

~ Copperheads are "just something you have to watch out for."

~ You nonchalantly pull ticks out of your dog's ears, all the time.

~ You've used Duck Tape for every imaginable pupose.:D

~ You have a pocket knife for every occasion.

~ You just knew you got that Cracker House question right, even though the ornery test master said ya got it wrong.

Duct Tape Uses- you know they can be crazy.

In an effort to keep our faithful readers faithful, I shall post something today... give me a few minutes to think of a subject, and I shall post, haha. Ummmm....

Okay, how about weird uses for duct tape? Ya'll can feel free to leave your comments adding to the list.

I have seen duct tape used as the handle for a play shield...

To tape a child to the wall for time out (this wasn't us, for the record)...

To fix clothing in place...

To make play swords...

To repair shoes...

To quiet rowdy children ;)...

The list goes on and on and on.... we'd like to hear what uses ya'll have for duct tape. Leave us a comment and let us know!

~Kaitland

The 10 Commandments for Southerners- A guest post

The 10 Commandments for Southerners- a guest post by Samuel Dye.

Howdy, just wanna let you know who I am.. Samuel Joel Dye is the name and mighty glad to meet you. Been an avid supporter and reader of this blog from VERY beginning, I highly recommend it! Anyways I was raised a pastors kid and been called to the mission field. I will be headin off to bible college in the next year or so. Hopefully they don't kick me out for my "venacular" interpreation of the 10 Commandments. Anyways ya'll be good and read yer bible every day (oh and don't forget to pray)..


The 10 Commandments:

1. Thar ain't sopost to be no gods afore Him.
2. Yall not supposed to make any idols.. nun wut-so-evar!
3. Usin tha Lord's name in vain 'round here.. tat'll get you strung up.
4. You'd better be thar fer Sunday meetin.
5. Honor yer Maw 'n' Paw.
6. No killing nobody (lest it be in self defence).
7. Ain't sopost be no foolin round with a gal that you ain't hitched to.
8. Takin what ain't yurs.. that'll get ya shot.
9. No tellin tall tales or short ones for that matter.
10. Don’t be hankerin for yer buddy's stuff.

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Hey Ya'll!
I know way too many people just like this! :D

Borrowed from Nathaniel Brayden...this was WAY too good not to post! :-)

The answer can be found by answering the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Republican's Answer:
BANG!

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! Click "Shucks! I'm out!"
Daughter: "Nice pattern Daddy! Were those the Silver Tips, black talons, or them new Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one Daddy?"
Wife: "You ain't takin' THAT to no Taxidermist!"