Sunday, March 14, 2010

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Hey Ya'll!
I know way too many people just like this! :D

Borrowed from Nathaniel Brayden...this was WAY too good not to post! :-)

The answer can be found by answering the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40 caliber, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Republican's Answer:

Democrat's Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

Southerner's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! Click "Shucks! I'm out!"
Daughter: "Nice pattern Daddy! Were those the Silver Tips, black talons, or them new Hollow Points?"
Son: "Can I shoot the next one Daddy?"
Wife: "You ain't takin' THAT to no Taxidermist!"


  1. Hahaha! I love that story! I'm not sure if I'd fall into the Southern category or the Republican... they go hand in had really, so it doesn't make a difference to me, really! ;)

  2. Well.. I for one am appalled to think that you guys would think that of a Southerner! There is no way a Southerner is packing a .40 cal Glock.. a .45 cal 1911 with custom antler handles.. YES! But a Glock? Where are you from?

  3. LOL! Thats funny. I'm a southerner for sure. Although one thing... it never does say whether or not he was using the silver tips, black talons, or them new hollow points. (btw sams right!)